August 30, 2017

Guilt's Weekly Allowance.


The house is never clean, regardless of my constant circling.
The dishes are "soaking" (again).
How many people live here? Where do all these dishes come from?
Give the kid the phone so I can clean=guilt.
You shouldn't use technology as a baby sitter.
Get them to entertain themselves=guilt.
You work all day, play with your kids.
You work 40 hours a week, you use a baby sitter all week don't get one when you're home.
The children are whiny-you aren't tough enough on them.
The children are crying-you're going to raise emotionally calloused kids.
Sorry MOPS lady with your judgey stare and immediate dismissal
You meet during the day-Yes, I really do work.
I can't volunteer to the organizations near and dear to me.
I know in advance I'll have to cancel on them, guaranteed a kid will be sick or baby will need to eat.
How is it that I feel like I'm giving my all and my all is failing?
I'm exhausted with nothing to show for it.

It's all consuming and down right deprecating if I give it that power.
The guilt is my very own allowing; it's not the MOPs lady, the dishes, or societies fault.
I allowed guilt to tell me who I'm not and how I'm failing.
Our home doesn't define my worth as a woman.
Our children are happy, healthy, well-fed and deeply loved.
(One didn't sleep last night, but it doesn't phase her as much as it does me.)
Most importantly, they know how much God loves them even when mommy falls short.
The kids know that Daddy and Mommy love them so much, they work all week to provide for them.
My husband provides love, support, and fortitude.
He's the grit when I want to give up.
Too often I don't even give him the opportunity to help, I think it all has to be on my shoulders.
He's a rockstar husband and dad, I need to give him the chance to shine.
I'm not contributing fully to MOPs, my church, my community, etc. today, but it's not forever it's just for the foreseeable now.
My "tribe" needs my strength and attention: spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physically.
The deceiver says this season has to be lonely and exhausting.
Don't let that lie steal your joy in this moment, this month, or this year.
Allow Him to ordain your path and direct your efforts earnestly.


November 15, 2016

Insta-Pharisee

Pharisee: a member of an ancient Jewish sect, distinguished by strict observance of the traditional and written law, and commonly held to have pretensions to superior sanctity.
a self-righteous person; a hypocrite.

The Pharisees were known as a religious group who sought to disprove Jesus through their strict observance of the laws. They were highly motivated by the approval of others.

All of the major social media algorithms are written to populate their users displays with things that have been liked, shared, or what we have clicked. Our pictures can be filtered and beautified beyond recognition. Bullies sit behind their computers and smart phones and call people out if they live differently than they do.
We may feel righteous for our 7,252 closest friends, but God knows when we aren't being real. Eventually the others around us will see through the lip service. Depending on where they are in their walk, it could be enough to have them question the "friends" relationship with God and the existence of God.
Social media has turned many people in to the modern day pharisees that Jesus is talking about in Luke 16:15. "You are the ones to justify yourselves in the eyes of others...". Does that reflect a genuine relationship with a Christ?
When we stop  worrying about appearances and reaching perfection, we begin to build an authentic testimony. God would rather us be an honest "under construction" Christian, than a 200 likes #TooBlessedToBeStressed believer. If anything is going to be "shown off" let it be Christ's transformation and work in your life. Others will glean that a real work is being done, in real way, by a very real God.

November 3, 2016

Set Apart

Do you have places or friend groups where you just know your "role"?
Like knowing exactly where you sit at your families table or when you are with friends
Just like Sheldon on The Big Bang Theory, you have a "spot".
Image result for That's my spot

If I'm honest, I'm in a season where those places are few.
I don't say that because I want pity. I share this because after prayer and study, I realize that this and the other seasons I will face are all appointed season in which my spot and role will vary.

I realize that being set apart is not simply a part of this season, but as a Christian it is part of my lifelong calling. Jeremiah 1:5 is commonly used in nurseries and baby shower cards. If you read closely, though He's not just the first eighteen years of your life, Christ is talking about your entire lifespan. He didn't go into specifics on how, only that we are set apart and that He will be with us during our whole lives if we allow Him. When you feel alone or isolated, remember that God wants you to lead and not follow what the world tells you to do. Regardless of your biological age, your seniority in the group, or what boxes we fill in the eyes of society, find confidence and peace in getting to know the identity Christ has anointed for you.

I'm still working through the details, but for now it's not about my comfort, it's about who I'm supposed to be to the people around me. People come in and out of our lives for different reasons. There is an appointed reason that I'm in this season with this exact people group. Too many things fell in to place for me to be anywhere other than where I'm supposed to be. Feel free to email me if you want to hear my testimony.

Lord help me to navigate and communicate with others when I feel unsure, unequipped, or unprepared. Help me to seek your face daily and not the fleeting validation of others. Please keep me in this place of peace and away from the stress and sin that comes from the pull to conform. Help me find a community of believers that share these goals. May your will be done in all areas of my life, in your precious name, Amen.

April 1, 2016

Send Me!

Isaiah 6:8Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?” And I said, “Here am I. Send me!”

I had lunch with two colleagues that are courageously bold in their faith. In the two times we have met, I've never left our meetings without feeling encouraged and feeling challenged to live the same way. One friend said that the Holy Spirit had laid on her heart that God doesn't want us to focus our prayers that say "Lord do I turn left or right" He want's to be in control of the big picture. This struck a cord, because I have been prayerfully seeking God's call for my life. 

have many hobbies and talents that I use to glorify the Lord;skills earned as a marketer to the various crafting hobbies I've taken up in my free time. Last night I was praying for guidance in what I'm supposed to be spending my time and talents on. "Lord, there are enough bloggers, crafters, designers and speakers. Who would listen to me? There are graphic designers with WAY more talent than me and people who are better at public speaking." Seriously..Little Sabrina Jones was telling the God who was holding the moon and stars above her head, what my abilities and limitations were like I was interviewing for a position. The Holy Spirit whispered gently to my heart, "stop focusing on what YOU can do so I can show you what I can do". My prayer and Bible study game have been preparing me to be like Isaiah, "Here I am, Send Me!". Wherever you send me Lord, I know that you will give me the tools to succeed according to your purpose

Lord, my prayer is that I not focus on the skills and abilities that you have blessed me with, but on ways I can use them for your kingdom. When opportunities arise, my prayer is that I focus on my Creator who can and will equip me for anything. In a world that focuses on building a resume, keep my eyes on building the kingdom.When I try to tell you who I am or that I don't measure up, Lord, open my eyes to who I can be through you. Rather than focusing on the "left or right" of today, help me see the opportunities that are RIGHT in front of me.